Every smoker has tried to quit smoking more than once in their smoking career. I was once one of them.
Fifteen years ago, during a smoke-filled chat in my university dorm, I accepted my first cigarette. The slight dizziness after that first puff remains fresh in my memory to this day.
In that environment, smoking was just too convenient—it was almost unavoidable when chatting with classmates. While the first cigarette doesn't immediately get you hooked, once you start and are surrounded by a smoking environment, it becomes incredibly hard to break free.
At the time, I didn't realize that that one puff would lead to a 15-year addiction and kick off 15 years of attempts to quit.
Willpower Is Not a Cure-All
Throughout my long smoking career, I tried countless methods to quit—like quitting cold turkey or cutting down on the number of cigarettes—but the longest I ever lasted was half a month. The "retaliatory relapse" after quitting was often even more intense than before, and the sense of failure hurt more than the withdrawal symptoms.
Over time, I began to doubt myself, even falling into a stagnant state of giving up and accepting the "reality" that I "couldn't quit smoking."
That is, until 2025, when I turned 35.
Starting in 2023, my daily one-hour cycling routine made me reflect on the importance of physical health. The boost in energy and mental clarity from exercise led me, as a knowledge worker, to reevaluate the value of my life.
While I dislike defining life stages by age, when I reached 35—a subtle milestone in society's timeline—I couldn't help but reflect on some of my unhealthy habits. Among them, cigarettes were the biggest obstacle to my pursuit of a healthy life.
Looking back on my past attempts to quit, I realized that the methods I used relied heavily on willpower. But repeated failures taught me that when facing an addiction like smoking, which is both physiological and psychological, my willpower was as fragile as a house of cards. If I truly wanted to quit smoking, I couldn't rely on "old-fashioned methods," like the rather mystical idea of "suddenly having an epiphany and quitting."
I believe that any addiction is rooted in basic physiological and cognitive mechanisms. Only by understanding the reasons behind these mechanisms can we find ways to break free.
The Pleasure You Think You Feel Is an Illusion
To quit smoking, we must first "demystify" it cognitively. We often say smoking is about seeking a certain feeling, but in reality, these pleasures are illusions created by the brain being hijacked by nicotine. Among the many reasons for smoking, only three were key for me:
- Throat Hit: This is essentially a mild inflammation and self-defense response of the trachea when irritated. To make me accept this harm, my brain forcibly releases a bit of dopamine to "numb the pain." I was misinterpreting my body's distress signals as satisfaction. In fact, this throat hit is like eating spicy food—the dopamine compensation comes from the pain.
- Relaxation: Nicotine reaches the brain in just seven seconds. But does smoking really relax me? The truth is, when I wasn't smoking, my body was constantly in a state of anxiety and tension due to dropping nicotine levels. Smoking merely temporarily "reset" this tension to a normal level. The pleasure I felt was actually the relief of "stopping the suffering." It’s like wearing tight shoes just to enjoy the comfort of taking them off.
- Habit: A cigarette before meals, before bed, or after waking up is just a self-constructed "ritual." When my brain links smoking to these activities, my biological clock forms an automatic execution mechanism. This means if I don’t smoke around these times, I feel a profound sense of loss. Nicotine has forcibly hijacked my daily routines.
From my analysis of my addiction mechanisms, smoking is not just a physiological addiction to dopamine rewards but also a psychological addiction to the dependency on certainty. So, failing to quit isn’t my fault. Relying solely on willpower to fight against humanity’s evolutionary reward system is like battling biological instincts with bare hands.
My "Gradual" Quit-Smoking Strategy: Separating Physiology from Psychology
Through reflection, I realized that any "cold turkey" approach was unworkable for me. So, I adopted a more scientific method, with the core idea of separating "physiological dependence" from "psychological habits."
Nicotine Parallel Replacement
This was my core method. Instead of forcing my body into an immediate "zero nicotine" state, I used medical nicotine patches and pouches alongside my daily smoking, gradually reducing the number of cigarettes.
From early 2025 to September 2025, I successfully reduced my smoking from a pack a day to two packs over three days, and eventually just one pack over three days.
The logic of this "parallel" strategy was to maintain a stable and gradually decreasing level of nicotine in my bloodstream, so my physiological alarm clock would stop screaming.
This transformed "smoking = physiological need + psychological habit" into "smoking = purely psychological habit." When smoking was no longer about "staying alive" or "numbing pain," it downgraded from a drug to a meaningless repetitive action.
Creating a Smoke-Free Environment and Social Declaration
I avoided gatherings where smokers passed around cigarettes. Once I started quitting, I made sure to loudly declare: "I’ve quit smoking." I let everyone know not to offer me cigarettes anymore. Don’t shy away from admitting you’re quitting because of so-called "face." True dignity lies in regaining control over your body.
Moreover, any worthwhile social setting should respect someone who declares they’ve quit smoking and hold them in high regard.
Cutting Off Contextual Triggers and Semantic Associations
Finally, I needed to sever the link between "specific moments" (like after meals or upon waking) and "lighting up." More importantly, I had to cut off the rituals and words that triggered the urge to smoke.
I once read a case about drug addiction: a mother who had successfully stayed clean for over a decade for her daughter’s sake relapsed just because her daughter said, "Mom, you can relax now," at her graduation. The word "relax" triggered a semantic association with her past drug use.
This warned me to ensure smoking remained a detached, isolated event and not let it become linked with positive words like "relaxation," "reward," or "inspiration."
So, during my quit attempt, I deliberately distracted myself after meals, extending the time between eating and smoking, gradually breaking the association between "after meals" and "a cigarette."
Waiting for the "Decisive Moment"
During the nine-month quitting process, my body had built a basic resistance to cigarette cravings. But what I still needed was a trigger to quit completely, and that moment came in late September 2025.
I was about to visit a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time in another city. Just before leaving, I remembered this friend was extremely sensitive to secondhand smoke and hurriedly took the cigarettes out of my pocket. At the time, I thought it was just for a day—I could probably manage.
Thanks to the "parallel replacement" method, which had already reduced my physiological cravings, I naturally went the entire day without smoking. It wasn’t until I returned home that evening that I suddenly realized, I could actually break free from smoking completely and painlessly. This gave me immense encouragement.
That night, I threw the remaining half-pack of cigarettes straight into the trash, without leaving a single one or making any excuses for myself.
When I could go a whole day without thinking about smoking or feeling physically uncomfortable from not smoking, I knew I could really quit this time.
So, find a scenario where you simply cannot smoke and successfully trigger it. When your body is ready, all you need is a gentle push, and everything will fall into place.
Quitting Smoking Is an Ongoing Action
From the beginning of 2025, when I started trying to quit again and deconstruct the addiction mechanisms of smoking, I understood that quitting isn’t a simple "yes" or "no" decision. Otherwise, after my first failure, I would have condemned myself to a lifetime of guilt instead of starting over.
Before finally succeeding, quitting smoking is destined to be a long-term, continuous action.
Through this experience, I’ve come to understand more deeply that any intense confrontation with the body will trigger a stronger rebound. The best approach is to reflect on past failures, find a method that works for you, and let your body gradually adapt to a new balance. I don’t consider myself strong-willed, but I still found my own path through practice.
So, to all those preparing to quit, currently quitting, or facing another failure in quitting, I hope you’re not afraid of failure. When it comes to quitting smoking, succeeding just once in a lifetime is enough.
Don’t give up trying for the sake of pride. Even if you fail ninety-nine times, if you succeed on the hundredth attempt through practice, you are the winner.