Every smoker, in their smoking career, has tried to quit more than once. I was once one of them.
Fifteen years ago, during a smoke-filled chat in my college dormitory, I took my first cigarette. The slight dizziness after that first inhale is still fresh in my memory.
In that environment, smoking was incredibly convenient, and chatting with classmates almost inevitably involved cigarettes. Although that first puff didn't immediately hook me, once I started and was surrounded by a smoking culture, it was hard to break free.
At the time, I didn't realize that one cigarette would lead to a 15-year addiction and kick off a 15-year struggle to quit.
Willpower is not a cure-all
Throughout my long smoking career, I tried countless methods to quit, such as going cold turkey or reducing the number of cigarettes, but the longest I lasted was only half a month. The "revenge relapse" after resuming smoking was often more intense than before, and this sense of failure hurt more than the withdrawal symptoms.
Over time, I began to doubt myself, even falling into a state of stagnation where I gave up, accepting the "reality" that I couldn't quit smoking.
It wasn't until 2025, when I turned 35, that things changed.
Starting in 2023, I began cycling for an hour every day, which made me reevaluate the importance of physical health. The boost in energy and mental clarity from exercise allowed me, a knowledge worker, to reassess the value of life.
Although I dislike defining life stages by age, reaching the subtle milestone of 35 in society's clock prompted me to reflect on my bad habits. Among them, cigarettes were the biggest obstacle to pursuing a healthy life.
Looking back at my past attempts to quit, I realized that the methods I used relied heavily on willpower. But repeated failures taught me that when facing an addiction like smoking, which is both physical and psychological, my willpower was as fragile as a house of cards. If I truly wanted to quit, I couldn't rely on "crude methods" or the mystical idea that some people "suddenly realize and quit."
I believe that any addiction must have basic physiological and cognitive mechanisms. Only by understanding the reasons behind these mechanisms can we find ways to overcome them.
The pleasure you think you feel is an illusion
To quit smoking, you first need to "disenchant" your perception. We often say we smoke to find a certain feeling, but in reality, these pleasures are illusions created by the brain being hijacked by nicotine. Among the many reasons for smoking, three were key for me:
- Throat hit: Essentially, it's a mild inflammation and self-defense response from the trachea when irritated. To make me accept this harm, the brain forcibly releases a bit of dopamine to "numb the pain." I was misinterpreting my body's distress signal as satisfaction. This throat hit is like eating chili peppers—a dopamine compensation triggered by pain.
- Relaxation: Nicotine reaches the brain in just 7 seconds. But does smoking really relax me? The truth is that when I'm not smoking, my body is in a state of anxiety and tension due to dropping nicotine levels. Smoking only temporarily "resets" this tension to a normal level. The pleasure I feel is actually the relief of "stopping suffering." It's like deliberately wearing tight shoes just to enjoy the comfort of taking them off.
- Habit: Smoking before meals, before bed, or after waking up is just a self-constructed "ritual." When my brain links smoking to these activities, my biological clock forms an automatic execution mechanism. If I don't smoke around these times, I feel a huge sense of loss. This is nicotine forcibly hijacking my activity patterns.
From my analysis of my addiction mechanism, smoking is not just a physical addiction to dopamine rewards but also a psychological addiction to the certainty of dependence. So, failing to quit is not my fault. Relying solely on willpower to fight against the reward mechanisms evolved over millennia is like going into battle barehanded against biological instincts.
My "gradual" quitting strategy: separating physiology from psychology
Through reflection, I found that any "cold turkey" approach was unworkable for me. So I adopted a more scientific method, with the core being the separation of "physical dependence" from "psychological habits."
Parallel nicotine replacement
This was my core method. Instead of forcing my body into an immediate "zero nicotine" state, I continued smoking while using medical nicotine patches and pouches, gradually reducing the number of cigarettes.
From early 2025 to September 2025, I successfully reduced my daily pack of cigarettes to two packs every three days, or even one pack every three days.
The logic behind this "parallel" strategy was to keep the nicotine level in my blood stable and gradually declining, silencing the physiological alarm.
This transformed "smoking = physical need + psychological habit" into "smoking = pure psychological habit." When smoking was no longer about "survival" or "pain relief," it degraded from a drug to a meaningless repetitive action.
Creating a smoke-free environment and social declaration
Stay away from places where smokers gather and share cigarettes. After starting to quit, you must loudly declare: "I have quit smoking." Let everyone know they can no longer offer you cigarettes. Don't be ashamed to admit you're quitting for the sake of "face." True dignity lies in regaining control over your body.
Moreover, any worthwhile social setting should respect someone who announces they are quitting and hold them in high regard.
Breaking scene-triggered and semantic associations
Finally, I needed to break the connection between "specific moments" (like after meals or waking up) and the "act of lighting up." More importantly, I had to sever the rituals and words that evoke smoking.
I once read a case about drug addiction: A mother who successfully quit drugs for over a decade for her daughter's sake relapsed when her daughter said, "Mom, you can relax now" after graduating from college. The word "relax" triggered a semantic association with the motivation for drug use years ago.
This warned me to ensure that smoking is just an isolated event, not linked to positive words like "relaxation," "reward," or "inspiration."
So during my quitting period, I deliberately did other things after meals to shift my focus, gradually extending the time between eating and smoking, breaking the association between "after meals" and "a cigarette."
Waiting for that "decisive moment"
After nine months of quitting, my body had developed a basic resistance to cravings. But I was still one trigger away from fully quitting, and that trigger came at the end of September 2025.
I was going to visit an old friend out of town. Just before leaving, I remembered that my friend was extremely sensitive to secondhand smoke, so I hastily took the cigarettes out of my pocket. I thought to myself that it was just one day, and I could manage.
Thanks to the "parallel replacement" that had already reduced my physical cravings, I naturally went through an entire day without smoking. It wasn't until I got home that night that I suddenly realized, I could actually go without smoking painlessly, which gave me a huge boost of confidence.
So that night, I threw the remaining half-pack of cigarettes into the trash, leaving none behind, without making any excuses or leaving any room for turning back.
When I could go an entire day without thinking about smoking, and without feeling miserable from not smoking, I knew I could truly quit this time.
So, find a scenario where you can't smoke and successfully trigger it. Once your body is ready, all you need is a gentle push, and everything will fall into place.
Quitting smoking is an ongoing action
From the beginning of 2025, when I tried to quit again and started deconstructing the addiction mechanism, I understood that quitting is not a simple "yes" or "no" judgment. Otherwise, after my first failure, I would have nailed myself to a pillar of shame, floating in midair forever, instead of starting my quitting journey again.
Before ultimate success, quitting is destined to be a long-term, continuous action.
Through this experience, I gained a deeper understanding that any intense confrontation with the body will trigger a stronger rebound. The best approach is to reflect on past failures, find a method that suits you, and let the body gradually adapt to a new balance. I don't consider myself strong-willed, but I still found my way out through practice.
So, to all those preparing to quit, currently quitting, or failing to quit again, I hope you are not afraid of failure. When it comes to quitting, you only need to succeed once in a lifetime.
Don't give up trying for the sake of face. Even if you fail ninety-nine times, if you succeed on the hundredth attempt through practice, you are the winner.